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Unusual Stuff

Your Mother Lied and Science Can Prove It

Posted 2/18/2008 9:53 am by Stephanie Sturgis and Andrew Sorcini

Thanks to scientists working diligently in labs across the globe, the phrase “old wives’ tales” can officially now be reworked to state “old moms’ tales.”

Growing up in my own abode under the iron thumb of my ruling mom, I was bound by the logic she used to try to take care of me/keep me in line. Now, I find out, the logic she was touting was extremely flawed.

There’s a list of myths perpetrated over time by moms in their pursuit of a happy, well-adjusted second generation. My well-intentioned parent was guilty of implanting four of the five lies inside my brain.

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After checking out the list, I’m feeling guilty about all the shoes I potentially ruined in my life. I’m being haunted by all those soles that stepped in my discarded gum - gum that I could have swallowed without doing any bodily harm to myself had I known the facts instead of listening to my mother.

Being a bookworm, as the volume of afternoon sunlight filtering through the windows dimmed appreciably with passing time, more than once my ears were assaulted with mom’s voice reminding to turn on a light or I would be blind by morning. Years later, I’m still blessed with 20/20 vision. Go figure.

My sweet tooth was also highly neglected during my formative years thanks to one of these maternal myths. I’m salivating right now thinking about all the uneaten candy I begged for but was denied. The sugar buzz is busted.

And then there is this one. According to the female half of my parenting pair, an extra layer of sweaters and socks was supposed to keep me safe and sound from a nasty winter cold. Wrong again.

Honestly, I know the woman of the house was just trying to look out for me, making sure I survived to see another day, but how things might have been done a bit differently if she’d had access to Internet.

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