The Stylish All-Black Penguin
Unusual Stuff

Table Etiquette Made Easy: A Guide for Men

Posted 2/20/2008 6:01 am by AJ Star and RJ Saddler

finedining.JPGAfter bachin’ (pronounced “batchin”) it up for five years or so, it can be difficult and tiring for a guy to go from ramen noodles and Hungry Man dinners to salad forks and cleansing his palate.

Luckily, no one here on the internet expects the not-so-fairer sex to do it on their own. Ploomy, a blog dedicated to keeping men “informed, inspired and intrigued,” recently published a list of “Table Manner Tips Ever Guy Should Know.”

Despite admonishing their readers that the list is not to be considered the definitive source on table etiquette, Ploomy provides a crash course on fine dining in a three minute read. That’s quite impressive.

By the end of the article, men (who care and are paying attention) should be able to tell which fork to use when, how to properly contact a waiter and how to remove inedible bits of food from their mouths. No, that last one does not require a toothpick or paper napkins.

The best part about the list is that the author successfully does two things while maintaining the brevity of each entry: clearly articulates the actions required to follow the rule and gives a logical reason why the rule exists. I know that I wouldn’t want to follow a rule, especially if it sounds stupid (wipe your mouth every time you want to take a drink? with a napkin?), unless I was given a reason. And I’m not even a guy!

Although the list will be a helpful tool for men interested in learning the ropes of fine dining for business or personal reasons, from the reactions in the comments section it seems that many Ploomy readers are already quite on top of their table manners. One reader went so far as to write up a handful of tips that the article didn’t include. Chew on that and push it to the front of your mouth before removing it discretely with a fork, Ploomy!

To read the full article (and comments) for yourself, click here.

Image: Ilfiasco.com

Tags: , , , ,

Share this post, or Subscribe:

Try these Related Entries

  • Secrets to Saving Money While Dining Out
  • Arrested Over Not Leaving A Tip
  • Extreme Dining 150 Feet in the Air
  • Man Caught Having Sex With Picnic Table
  • Moon Table Glows In The Dark
  • More Stuff Worth Checking Out »

    Unusual Stuff

    Incensed By The Census

    Posted 3/18/2010 11:00 am by Ron Hogan

    I thought I was the only one bemused by the Census 2010 ad campaign.  There’s been a constant bombardment of ads of all types reminding me that in a few weeks I’ll be getting a big piece of paper in the mail from the US Census Bureau, and that they want all my identifying information.  […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Serving Pets For Dinner

    Posted 3/18/2010 10:30 am by Ron Hogan

    There’s a fundamental difference between food that is weird because of its shape or its combination of contents, and food that is weird because of what it simply is.  Pepsi AM is strange, but not as strange or troubling as, say, horse meat ice cream.  Horse is a delicacy in Japan, but that is only […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Bring Me The Cheesy Head Of Steve Jobs!

    Posted 3/18/2010 10:00 am by Ron Hogan

    There are Apple fans and there are Apple fans.  For instance, when an Apple fanatic and food blogger Ken at The Cooks’ Den wanted to pay tribute to Macintosh’s head cheese he did what came natural.  He put his foodie skills to good use and made a bust of Steve Jobs out of cheese!  He […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Apple Bans Screen-Covering Plastics

    Posted 3/18/2010 8:30 am by Ron Hogan

    It’s one of the accepted realities of technology.  If you buy something with a screen, from clocks to iPads, there’s going to be that little sheet of thin plastic film that covers the screen.  Whether to protect it from scratches, protect it during shipping, or just to keep grubby fingerprints off of it, that little […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Intruder Breaks In To Get Warm, Snuggle In Bed

    Posted 3/18/2010 7:30 am by Ron Hogan

    For one Mt. Washington, Pennsylvania, resident, it was the weirdest night of his life.  For Michael Karanja Kamau, it was just a really cold, drunk night.  Police say the 33-year-old Kamau, from nearby Cranberry, broke into someone’s apartment and, in an attempt to get warm, crawled into bed with a strange man.  The sleeping man, […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Vandalize Cars Online While You Wait!

    Posted 3/18/2010 6:30 am by Ron Hogan

    One of the more popular items at Texas Auto Center, a car dealership in Austin, Texas, is an anti-theft GPS system that enables police and users to disable a stolen car’s engine in the event of a theft.  The car gets stolen, cops turn it off, and then they use the GPS to track it […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    WWE Bans The Steel Chair, For Real This Time

    Posted 3/18/2010 6:00 am by Ron Hogan

    If you’ve ever watched professional wrestling, you know one thing intimately well.  at some point in the evening, a wrestler will roll out of the ring, shove the ring announcer or some other ringside official aside, and grab a metal folding chair.  He may just menace his opponent with it, but oftentimes someone’s gonna get […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Teacher Calls Kid A Loser On Graded Paper

    Posted 3/17/2010 10:00 am by Ron Hogan

    Patty Clement’s 11-year-old daughter had a problem with one of her teachers.  It appears that Rex Roland, an educator at Enka Middle School in Buncombe County in Asheville, North Carolina, had issues with her daughter.  That’s the best explanation as to why he wrote that she was a loser on her paper not once, but […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Paratrooping, Bomb-Detecting, Special Forces Dogs

    Posted 3/17/2010 9:30 am by Ron Hogan

    If you want to feel ashamed of yourself, then I suggest you read this story about parachute-jumping, bomb-sniffing, special forces dogs.  Seriously, these dogs are more accomplished than anyone I know, and they doesn’t even have thumbs!  The dogs earned theirwings as part of Operation Cold Response, Europe’s biggest war games operation in Norway.  The […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Making Choices And Parkinson’s Disease

    Posted 3/17/2010 9:00 am by Ron Hogan

    There’s a condition unique to the human condition called default bias.  Generally, when presented with two options, the default option and a different option, most people choose the default.  Even when it’s wrong, this dithering tends to go to the default choice.  That’s why people stare blankly at hundreds of channels, then just stay with […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Science, Art, And Mutant Toads

    Posted 3/17/2010 8:00 am by Ron Hogan

    For years, frogs have been held up as a prime example of what can happen to a species when its environment was polluted.  Frogs with no legs, frogs with extra legs, frogs with all manner of deformities were plucked from ponds and held up as examples:  “See?  This is why we need to clean up […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Michael Jackson’s Record-Breaking Record Deal

    Posted 3/17/2010 7:30 am by Ron Hogan

    As the Elvis estate could tell you, being dead is a great business deal.  Michael Jackson’s estate is living proof of that, as his heirs, controllers, and various business managers have negotiated the biggest record deal in history for the singer, who died only 9 months ago in mid-preparation for a string of comeback concerts. […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    Mustang Sally, The World’s Largest Lamb (Maybe)

    Posted 3/17/2010 7:00 am by Ron Hogan

    Farmer Ken Jones knew something was wrong when his pregnant ewe, Daisy, kept getting bigger and bigger.  He assumed, reasonably, that she was carrying twins, or maybe even triplets.  While she was carrying three times the baby, it wasn’t multiples.  Instead, Daisy gave birth to a single lamb that was three times the size of […]

    Read »
    Unusual Stuff

    15 Websites That Changed How We Do Everything

    Posted 3/17/2010 6:30 am by Ron Hogan

    It’s no secret that the Internet has changed how we do everything since it took hold of the world.  There’s a reason that improving the Internet is one of the FCC’s top goals.  That’s not hyperbole; from shopping to music, reading to communication, the Internet has changed everything and here are the 15 websites responsible […]

    Read »