When I think about amusement parks, I usually am devising ways to get out of going to one. I know you may think that makes me a cranky broad, but if you’ve seen one rambling sprawl with acres filled with screaming kids, weary parents and the smell of cotton candy and sweat, you’ve seen them all.

Walt Disney World will never hire me for my scathing admission, but Shijingshan Amusement Park just might. And Love Land in Korea also might give me a shot as their new public relations person as this is more of my kind of thrill ride. And extra goodness for not having to ride a rollercoaster at that one..

My prejudices of amusing parks might just have changed after reading about of some of the most perplexing amusement parks in the world. Now these are my kind of parks although I have to say that I’m not sure Love Land is for kids. Well, I’m pretty sure of it. If the pictures are any indication, you also might need your photo id to get in.

Perfect.

Let’s start there: Love Land is a park about sex. There isn’t getting around it. Statues of people practicing Kama Sutra positions and large rock formations of the male and female human anatomy is graphic and exquisitely bizarre. The park, originally created as an art exhibit for students of Seoul’s Hongik University, in not something you’d want your mom to know you’ve visited.

The most interesting park might be Shijingshan Amusement Park in Beijing which looks very similar to Mickey Mouse’s world but don’t you dare say it’s the same thing because it’s not and park administrators will tell you it’s not. So there..

Yeah, there is the character Duck who suspiciously looks like Donald Duck’s brother and there is a character named Kitty (if you are thinking Hello Kitty, then you are correct, campers) but the park might be more apt to be called Copyright-Infringement-Without-A-Bit Of-Irony land. Creators of the park arrogantly say they aren’t copying favorite cartoon characters for the amusement park, that it’s all about Grimm’s Fairy Tales. They also say that their character who looks identical to Mickey Mouse is a cat with big ears.

Umm, right. Sure. Whatever you want to believe. The slogan for the park takes the guffaw award. “Disney is too far, so please come to Shijingshan.”

Priceless.

Now, I don’t think I have any desire, quite frankly, to go to Dickens World. Let me think, which classic author inspires thrills, joy and your first thought of a relaxing vacation? Charles Dickens you say, well, all-righty then.

Located in Chatham Dockyard in Kent, the English amusement park is filled with the lovely memories of disease, pestilence, dysentery, the elite world of Victorian England and, just for a rollicking good time, starving orphans. They even have a log flume based on Great Expectations.

Cracked Magazine has listed the 9 most Baffling Theme Parks across the globe and that was just a brief sampling. You just can’t make this stuff up.

And it’s fabulous.

Number 1 on their list is a park devoted to cartoon characters throwing up. The Danish themed park named Bon Bon Land is all about vomiting, dog flatulence and poop. You will be titillated by naked cows, mice who are using the bathroom and some of the most messed up stuff you will ever see. I cannot imagine seeing this amusement park making it in the southern United States, but it’s a huge hit in Denmark.
I take back everything I said. I’ve got a destination for my kind of theme park. Sign me up. I’m there.

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