We’ve all been hedgehog-throwing mad.  I know I sure have.  It’s important, when you’re at your angriest, to step back, take some deep breaths, and slowly put down the Erinaceinae, because if you’re anything like the New Zealander who threw the last hedgehog, you’ll end up paying a hefty fine.

While $545 is a pretty steep fine (almost $400 of which went directly to the hedgehogged victim), William Singalargh got off very lucky.  The more serious charge of assault with a deadly weapon was dropped, which means he avoided facing a penalty of up to 5 years in jail.  I don’t have to tell you that the only thing more dangerous than a hedgehog is a flying hedgehog with a grudge against your calf muscle.

The fact that hedgehog control laws remain lax in New Zealand, and that this dangerous criminal got off with a slap on the wrist, suggests to me that the National Hedgehog Association’s lobbying prowess is as potent as ever.  Like the bumper sticker says, “When hedgehogs are outlawed, only outlaws will have hedgehogs.”

Tags: crime, criminals, dumb crimes, new zealand, william singalargh, hedgehog, assault, true crime, assault with a hedgehog

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