Among the many groups of folks who get swine flu vaccine priority are child-care workers like teachers, daycare employees, medical personnel, and those sorts of people.  Given that swine flu is everywhere, people are jockeying for a place on the swine flu priority list.  There are only so many vaccines to go around, and thousands of people want them.  That’s why one group of public employees, the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, is asking that Santa Clauses throughout the US get bumped ahead of normal people on the swine flu vaccine list.  They consider themselves a high risk group.

It might be an easily dismissed request, but once I started to think about it… it is perfectly reasonable.  The average Santa has to go through hundreds of kids in an 8-hour shift of picture-taking.  Given that Christmas is right around the corner, who do you think is going to handle more sniffly, sneezy, snotty little kids than all of those groups mentioned above?  Right, Santa.  Just imagine how many kids could get infected by one ill Father Christmas!

Tags: swine flu, swine flu vaccine, priority list, Santa Claus union demands swine flu vaccine, vaccine priority, Santa Claus, Christmas, holiday workers, Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, Father Christmas, mall Santas

Tomorrow is the second Sunday in March, and you know what that means.  It’s time for everyone to be grumpy and miserable by missing an hour of much-needed sleep in the wee hours between Saturday night and Sunday morning (unless you live near the equator or in Arizona, where there is no daylight savings plan).  […]

The Hump is one of many trendy foodie outposts in environmentally-conscious Santa Monica, California.  However, a sting operation conducted by the producers of the Oscar-winning short “The Cove,” about the annual dolphin kill in Japan, revealed that The Hump’s airport location has been serving meat from an endangered animal in its sushi.  The Hump’s head […]

Charles L. Stewart’s religious practices are a bit strange.  He claims that, as part of his religion, he had to illegally import a dangerously invasive species of Giant African Snail so as to protect his followers from illnesses.  Stewart, from Hialeah, Florida, maintains that drinking the mucus from living snails is a common practice to […]

Sometimes it’s really, really hard not to make a Polish joke.  For example, when a Polish guy robs a bank with a spoon.  Or, in this case, when a Polish great-grandmother gets banned from riding her bicycle after biking around while drunk.  However, while the concept is funny, the penalty is not.   Keystyna Patycka, a […]

On the remote island of Svalbard, Norway, is the most genetically-diverse spot on planet Earth.  The island itself isn’t the most pleasant place; in fact, it’s a miserable, frozen rock above the Arctic Circle where the only wandering life is polar bears.  However, dug into the side of Platåberget Mountain is the Doomsday Vault.  Better […]

I’m not sure what to blame for this one.  The recession?  The fact that nobody uses cash anymore?  The fact that she robbed what sounds to me like a little bodega?  Take your pick.  Either way, a woman in Thermal, California went to a lot of effort for very little reward.  She used a semiautomatic […]

After one too many close calls with a screeching, honking car, Peter Smith had officially had enough.  Tired of eating dust and getting cursed at by angry drivers, the dedicated bicycle rider from Austin, Texas, started circulating a petition.  Over 2 years and 50,000 signatures later, and he finally achieved his dream:  Google Maps has […]