Rowers, boaters, and general seekers of pleasure beware! If you take to the waters of the River Cam, then you run the risk of being attacked by the vicious swan known only as Mr. Asbo! That’s right, a swan has been attacking people, especially the rowers of Cambridge University, and the school is about sick of it. The Conservators of the Cam, the custodians of the river, and the Cambridgeshire Rowing Association are calling for the Queen of England to have the swan killed.
I mean, it’s kind of funny to think about swans attacking rowers, but birds can be pretty hardcore. We’ve all seen what happens when a pelican attacks someone, so swans are nothing to be trifled with. It is believed that Mr. Asbo is so violent because he is protecting his mate and his nearby nest, but the bird has grown more aggressive and moved farther towards the city this year.
The Queen of England, who technically owns all the swans in England and who appoints the Warden of the Swans to oversee the birds, has to be consulted before anything can be done about Mr. Asbo. The bird has already driven one coxswain out of rowing, and he even tips over boats! Now that he’s going after power boats, something’s got to be done before he gets hurt (or hurts someone else).
Tags: Mr. Asbo, swan attacks rowers, Cambridge University, River Cam, Conservators of the Cam, swan attacks, unusual animals, animal attacks, Cambridgeshire Rowing Association, swans, Warden of the Swans