Jon Stewart Is Leaving The Daily Show
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8-Year-Old Girl Gets Porn From Teacher

Posted 5/28/2010 10:00 am by

Dana Hill’s 8-year-old daughter was thrilled when she got a DVD full of school photos from her teacher at Homosassa, Florida’s Rock Crusher Elementary School.  (As it happens, that’s the coolest school name I’ve ever heard.)  She sat down to watch the picture DVD with her 12-year-old brother and lo and behold, it wasn’t school pictures; the 8-year-old girl was given a porn DVD by mistake.  While it happens all the time, it’s also why you should always keep your porn away from your pictures of elementary schoolers.

Actually, it’s an understandable mistake.  Back when I made some DVDs for friends (not porn, bootlegged Japanese professional wrestling and the most notorious Asian movie ever made, unavailable in the US), I would routinely get them mixed up.  I’m a big personalizer when I make DVDs for people, so I’ll do things like write their names on them, deface them in some meaningful way, or just be weird.  I don’t like handing out blank discs.

Anyway, I wrote little notes with the ripped copies of Battle Royale, and of course, I got the two discs messed up.  The one that was supposed to go to Pittsburgh went to Canada, and the one that was supposed to go to Canada went to Pittsburgh.  Not that it makes a huge difference; the Canadian still got all the zombie references and the Pittsburgh-er got the references to hockey and igloos.

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