The colors of Christmas – red and green – signal the holidays are here. In Southington, Connecticut, the red reminder of the season comes in a shade of crimson blood thanks to a stabbing. Not just any stabbing mind you, but a shanking via Christmas ornament.

Ruth Wagner opted to use a five-finger discount during a shopping visit to a Christmas craft fair filled with trinkets and potential gifts for loved ones. The 55-year-old woman was spotted shoplifting a seashell ornament from a booth by another vendor who tried to stop her. Wagner took off for her escape. Shouts through the market alerted a woman near the door, who tried to keep Wagner from exiting the building. That’s when the ornament turned into a weapon. Wagner used the long tail on the seashell to stab her human roadblock and make her escape. Just when we learn fish are using tools to open clam shells, humans use the shells as weapons.

Other witnesses noted the license plate number on (not the Shell Man of China) the Shell Woman of Connecticut’s getaway car, so police were able to track down the thieving Grinch and make the arrest. Her stabbing victim was taken to the hospital since a piece of the ornament broke off in her arm.

It seems holiday thuggery has moved past the generic Black Friday door-opening tramplings to impersonal pepper spraying a large crowd in order to nab an Xbox to up-close-and-personal stabbing.

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