Hipster Sounds Turn Your Office Into A Coffee Shop
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Heart Attack Grill Kills Another Spokesman

Posted 2/13/2013 6:00 am by

Restaurateur Jon Basso’s famed Heart Attack Grill has struck again.  Patron John Alleman, the restaurant’s unofficial mascot who took over after 575-pound Blair River died of a heart attack, has himself been stricken by the restaurant’s menu.  While waiting for a bus in front of the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, John Alleman fell dead […]

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IOC Drops Wrestling From The 2020 Olympics

Posted 2/12/2013 7:00 am by

There’s a little secret about the Olympics.  In order to add a new event designed to capture the modern zeitgeist, an older event has to be cut.  With an urge to modernize the 26 events on the modern Olympic Games, the IOC has decided to remove one of the traditional events from the 2020 Games. […]

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Mountain Drew’s Breakfast Soda

Posted 2/12/2013 6:30 am by

Let it never be said that Pepsi isn’t willing to go back to the well and try an idea for a second or third time.  For example, once upon a time, Pepsi had a breakfast soda that was a terrible idea.  The drink itself was a disaster, it didn’t sell well, blah blah blah.  That […]

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The World’s Largest Crocodile Is Dead

Posted 2/11/2013 7:00 am by

In 2011, villagers from a tiny town in the Philippines captured a 20.24-foot saltwater crocodile that has been believed to have been killing water buffalo and even people.  That giant beast took 100 people to drag it from a creek to the shore, where it was captured and took to a local aquarium where it […]

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Pope Benedict XVI To Step Down

Posted 2/11/2013 6:30 am by

A stunning announcement from the Vatican this morning.  While conducting the Concistory for the canonization of the martyrs of Otranto, a relatively minor event on the Papal calendar, Pope Benedict XVI announced that he is going to be stepping down.  Benedict, born Joseph Ratzinger, turned 85 years old this year and was the 265th Pope […]

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Grammys 2013 Winners And Losers

Posted 2/11/2013 6:00 am by

Last night, music gathered to celebrate itself during the 55th Annual Grammy Awards last night at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.  The list of nominees was star-studded, and the awards ceremony equally so.  If you’re like me and you missed the award ceremony because The Walking Dead was on, here’s a wrap-up of […]

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Beyonce Tries To Get Goofy Pictures Removed From Internet

Posted 2/08/2013 6:30 am by

Beyonce Knowles prides herself on being fierce at all times.  Sadly, being fierce and being pretty aren’t always hand-in-hand when it comes to performing in public on a huge stage.  When Beyonce performed at  the  halftime of Super Bowl XLVII, she hit the stage and did her best dance moves, made her best scowly faces, […]

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Mom Slips Drugs, Tongue To Jailbird Son

Posted 2/08/2013 6:00 am by

There are a lot of ways to smuggle drugs past the authorities, from potatoes and roses to the hat on your head.  However, one 54-year-old woman from Penn Yan, New York went above and beyond the call of duty to sneak a baggie of oxycodone into her son in Yates County jail.  When Kimberly Margeson […]

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Dad Pays Daughter To Stay Off Facebook

Posted 2/07/2013 7:00 am by

Lots of frustrated fathers are trying to keep control of their children on social media, but there are two different ways you can do that.  One way is to freak out and gun down your daughter’s laptop.  The other way is the way favored by executive-types like Scott Baier, the vice president for sustainability and research […]

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Man Literally Screwed By The IRS

Posted 2/07/2013 6:30 am by

In August 2011, Vincent Burroughs was first contacted by the Internal Revenue Service with an ominous warning concerning an audit.  Nobody wants to be audited by the IRS, so when IRS agent Dora Abrahamson called him, he came running.  After all, it’s an audit.  That can ruin your life to the tune of millions of […]

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Raccoons Stop Building Construction

Posted 2/07/2013 6:00 am by

Construction sites aren’t safe places.  That’s one of the reasons why construction companies typically put up fences around their job sites. They want to keep people out because the last thing you need when you’re hauling giant steel I-beams is a bunch of gawkers hanging out around you.  However, fences aren’t perfect and can’t keep […]

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Google Honors Mary Leakey’s 100th Birthday

Posted 2/06/2013 6:00 am by

Google loves a good doodle.  Whether they’re honoring inventions, musicians, politicians, or in this case, famous scientists.  The adorable doodle of a female archaeologist surrounded by dalmatians while dusting off a set of ancient preserved footprints is none other than Mary Leakey.  Google is honoring Mary Leakey on her 100th birthday; she passed away on […]

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Chris Pratt And The Guardians Of The Galaxy

Posted 2/06/2013 5:30 am by

Marvel is not content to rest on its laurels after the massive success that was The Avengers and the so-called Phase One of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Indeed, plans for Phase Two have already been put into place, with Shane Black’s Iron Man 3 and Alan Taylor’s Thor:  The Dark World already in post-production, Captain […]

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Yoda To Get The First Star Wars Spin-Off?

Posted 2/06/2013 5:00 am by

When Disney bought Lucasfilm, it gave Disney CEO Robert Iger a world of new characters to integrate into the Disney universe.  Indeed, Iger promised a new Star Wars film every two or three years, and it appears that the company is right on pace for that.  First of all, there’s the upcoming Episode VII as […]

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Jacksonville Jaguars Debut New Cat Logo

Posted 2/05/2013 8:30 pm by

In November of last year, the Jacksonville Jaguars decided to make a clean sweep.  We’re talking a new coach and even a new owner.  It didn’t exactly help the team’s fortunes, to say the least.  Jacksonville has struggled in recent years, and even new owner Shahid Khan can’t change that particular team angle.  However, maybe […]

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Dyson Unveils The Future Of The Bathroom Sink

Posted 2/05/2013 6:30 am by

When it comes to bathroom fixtures, the less things I have to touch the happier I am.  When I go into a public bathroom and there’s a hands-free toilet, hands-free soap dispenser, hands-free sink, and hands-free dryer, I’m a very happy fellow.  Well, Dyson is contributing to the drive to eliminate all manual bathroom fixtures […]

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IHOP’s Annual Free Pancake Day Is Today

Posted 2/05/2013 6:00 am by

It’s one of the sweetest days of the year:  National Pancake Day.  Every year, the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) gives away a short stack of delicious pancakes in exchange for what they hope is a donation from you to the Children’s Miracle Network.  Today is IHOP’s annual National Pancake Day.  That means, from 7 […]

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Richard III Discovered Under A Parking Lot

Posted 2/04/2013 7:00 am by

Richard III was a man of many moods.  On one hand, he died bravely in battle in 1485, despite being a hunchback in the parlance of his time.  On the other hand, he was regarded by many as an evil king who had his nephews imprisoned and killed in an attempt to consolidate power in […]

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Baltimore Bests San Fran To Win XLVII

Posted 2/04/2013 6:30 am by

For the first half, Super Bowl XLVII was shaping up to be another disappointment.  Baltimore scored a touchdown on their opening drive and kept adding to their lead.  By halftime, the score was 21-6 Baltimore, and the Ravens were looking to add to their lead.  Ray Lewis was playing well, Joe Flacco was showing off […]

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Iran Unwraps New Fighter/Bomber

Posted 2/03/2013 6:30 am by

When its leadership is not busy seeing Zionist conspiracies everywhere, there must be some pretty resourceful folk in Iran.  They’ve been blockaded for decades, yet they have managed to assemble a nuclear power plant with the help of some international allies, and since getting cut off from the rest of the world, they’ve also managed […]

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NFL Honors For Adrian Peterson, Peyton Manning

Posted 2/03/2013 6:00 am by

Last night during the 2nd Annual NFL Honors on CBS, the United States got to learn just who was the best of the best when it came to professional football last year.  From explosive rookies jumping the learning curve to strike fear into the hearts of NFL veterans to a pair of players who came back […]

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250,000 Twitter Accounts Hacked

Posted 2/02/2013 9:00 am by

Have you been seeing any weird Twitter messages lately?  Like spammy advertisements for green tea pills or Russian-made anything?  If so, that person might have been the victim of a Twitter hack, and that wouldn’t be the only compromised account.  This morning/late last night, Twitter did password resets for 250,000 accounts that may have been […]

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Punxsutawney Phil’s Spring Prediction

Posted 2/02/2013 8:30 am by

Last year, after a mild winter, Punxsutawney Phil, the infamous weather-predicting groundhog of Gobbler’s Knob, did not see his shadow and brought on an early spring.  This year, with winter being kind of crazy (at least in my area, where we’ve had thunderstorms and tornadoes followed immediately by ice and snow), Phil’s prediction has been kind […]

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Ben & Jerry’s Honors Liz Lemon

Posted 2/01/2013 5:30 pm by

There’s nothing ice cream mavens Ben and Jerry’s likes more than honoring someone they like.  From Stephen Colbert to Alec Baldwin’s Schewddy Balls, Ben and Jerry’s loves any excuse to create a new, fun ice cream flavor with a theme.  Much like Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey is another person worthy of being honored in ice […]

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Justice Department Blocks Beer Giant Merger

Posted 2/01/2013 6:30 am by

In 2008, InBev acquired American icon brewery Anheuser-Busch in a hostile takeover, turning it into the largest beer conglomerate in the world.  Since then SAB Miller has purchased Coors, making that combined company the second-largest brewery in the world.  In order to head off the growing competition, Anheuser-Busch InBev is trying to grow its own […]

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PlayStation 4 Debuting February 20?

Posted 2/01/2013 6:12 am by

Sony isn’t a company that can do a lot of things secretly.  They’re a huge public entity and people pay a lot of attention to their every move, especially when their competition are either working on their next-generation video game console (Microsoft) or have already debuted their offering this year (Nintendo WiiU).  Even though the […]

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