Well, it’s official. You can’t have an elephant as a pet in the U.K.

Shucks. The idea of having an elephant about the house is appealing. When someone uses the old cliche about there being an elephant “in the room” you could point over at your pachyderm behind the sofa. Imagine the hilarity, the joy and the money you could make with an elephant as a pet.

You could name your elephant groovy names like Steve or Elvis.

The petition to allow pet shops in the U.K to sell elephants is odd in its own right. It says “We the undersigned petition the prime minister to allow the sale of elephants in pet shops in the UK. We believe that every child in the UK would benefit from owning an elephant.

“We would like to make it legal to import African/Indian elephants to sell in pet shops across the UK. Elephants are creatures that children could learn about better by owning their own and keeping them in easily and cheaply converted sheds.”

It was a no go. The government responded that it did not think that “elephants would make good pets” and ruled against the petition that included more than 650 signatures.

I’m not so sure. If I had an elephant named Steve, I know it would bring me fame and fortune. Of course I would also need a indoor bulldozer and a keen exterminator to keep the mice out so Steve wouldn’t freak out, but still, it’s a swell idea.

I’ve never had a problem eating food from a gas station.  Just two weeks ago, I ate a couple of hot dogs purchased from a gas station.  They were delicious.  That’s not the first time I’ve eaten gas station food, and I doubt it will be the last.  There’s nothing like a fun food novelty. […]

Commissioner Roger Goodell gathered 32 NFL owners for one big question.  One of the league’s most wanderlust-stricken franchises is looking to move again.  The Oakland-Los Angeles-Oakland Raiders, tired of gutting it out in a run-down stadium, were once again looking for greener pastures.  Only the Miami Dolphins refused to cooperate.  With a vote of 31-1, […]

In 2006, an injury to Dallas Cowboys starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe opened the door for an undrafted free agent by the name of Tony Romo to take the helm of America’s Team and lead the Dallas Cowboys to an early playoff exit.  Bledsoe went from starter to afterthought in a season.  Now, the circle continues […]

For 89 years, Oscars has never had a major mistake.  The last few Oscars might have had a few flubs, but at least they never got the most important category of the night wrong.  Well, that’s now changed, all thanks to OG Bonnie and Clyde legends Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.  When Faye Dunaway called […]

Tom Brady has been wildly successful, if controversial.  He’s the first quarterback ever to win five Super Bowls and only the second player to do so after Charles Haley.  Unlike Haley, Brady won all his Super Bowls with the same team, the New England Patriots.  The only thing that seems to be able to stop […]

Ben Affleck, no matter what you might think of him, is a talented actor and director.  He’s got the goods, but he’s smart enough to know when he’s in over his head.  All along, since he took on the mantle of Batman, he’s had his eyes on writing, directing, and starring as the Caped Crusader. […]

In May, students for the for-profit American College of Education were running into some problems.  Their access to email accounts and course information was locked down by Google, who had disabled their accounts.  The reason why?  A fired IT worker for the American College of Education locked the school out of their Google cloud account. […]