When prison officials at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center search a prisoner, they do as thorough a job as possible, but apparently there are still ways to beat the system. That’s what guards at the prison in Wenatchee, Washington discovered after a prisoner admitted to the mother of all payloads smuggled into the prison internally. After finding some duct tape and a plastic bag in the toilet, the prisoner admitted to sneaking in a cigarette lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of marijuana, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink, and eight tattoo needles the only way a man can smuggle goods into prison: in his rectal cavity.
Someone cue up Christopher Walken’s NSFW gold watch speech from Pulp Fiction, post-haste.
This guy carried more stuff into prison via his butt than I can carry in my pockets. That’s really an impressive amount of stuffing; this guy needs a second career as a professional turducken stuffer at a deli, because he’s obviously got a knack for cramming stuff into crevasses. Let’s just hope he doesn’t take his work home with him, and I mean that in the grossest way possible.
Image: Den of Geek
Tags: prison smuggling, contraband, smuggling goods into prison, rectal smuggling, unusual smugglers, high capacity butt smuggling, unusual medical news, Wenatchee, Washington, Chelan County Regional Justice Center
