Unless you were named prom king/queen, “Most Likely to be Cool,” or some other extremely extroverted title in high school or college, it’s always a guilty pleasure to be able to avoid a certain social situation for some secret reason. Maybe an annoying friend will be attending, maybe it will be awkward in every way — or perhaps you just hate people altogether.

No matter the reasoning for not wanting to go to certain social functions, excuses can only take you so far. For those introverts who wish they could find a way to avoid all future social interaction, there are ways to make sure you’re never invited anywhere again.

For instance, you could bring your ipod and listen to it all evening long. Or, you could try out all of the ringtones in your phone (and listen to each tone all the way through!) Another great way to ward of social interaction is to clip your fingernails and toenails at the table, play air guitar constantly, and to use profanity as much as possible (this especially works great around kids).

Of course, these tips are not for everyone — if you actually do decide to carry out these strategies, you will be a loser at home with your mother.. for the rest of your life.

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