Daniel Boss likes his hamburgers a certain way.  Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, with a side of assault.  At no point in my stolen burger jingle did I mention “soaked in soda.”  During an argument with his wife in Port St. Lucie, Florida, his wife got mad and poured her drink on Boss’s burger.  To retaliate, he picked up the soggy burger and mushed it into her face like he was doing his best Jimmy Cagney impression.

(Explanation:  In the 1931 classic The Public Enemy, James Cagney’s character Tom Powers smushed a grapefruit into the face of Kitty, played by Mae Clark.  It’s one of the most memorable scenes in movie history.)

Boss left the house, and his wife went to the police station.  Cops picked him up 3 hours later and charged him with misdemeanor domestic battery.  The police should consider themselves lucky he hadn’t hit a grocery store up for $600 worth of meaty weapons; just imagine the damage he could do with a summer sausage and some beef jerky!

Tags: assault with a hamburger, man assaults wife with hamburger, man rubs hamburger in woman’s face, Daniel Boss, unusual assaults, Port St. Lucie, Florida

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