Dear kids,

It’s becoming a trend.  This year, the big fad among the kids isn’t just the Zhu Zhu Pets hamsters,  it’s apparently reenacting Bob Clark’s classic Christmas tale, A Christmas Story.  I can safely say this because this is the second kid this week who has frozen his tongue to a metal pole.  First a 10-year-old from Boise, and now a middle schooler from Vancouver, Washington.  Just yesterday, a girl froze her tongue to a metal pole, too!

It’s time to stop this nonsense.  The more of you who go out and deliberately freeze your tongues to metal poles, the less interesting the story gets.  Yes, we know you love A Christmas Story; who doesn’t?  But this madness has got to end.  The fire department has much better things to do than to unfreeze your dumb tongue from some delicious-looking flag pole or mailbox.  Like, for instance, fight fires.

Your friend,

Ron

Tags: kid reenacts A Christmas Story, tongue frozen to metal pole, kid freezes tongue to pole, Vancouver, Washington, Alki Middle School, tongue frozen to flagpole, open letters

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