For the past 29 years fans of literature have moaned, groaned and laughed at the entries in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. For those who think the name Bulwer-Lytton has a familiar ring to it, it’s because Edward George Bulwer-Lytton came up with the often mocked line “It was a dark and stormy night.” to begin his terrible novel Paul Clifford.
The contest’s challenge is to create the absolute worst opening to a novel. Writers can submit their entries into different genres including western, science fiction, purple prose, vile puns, romance and others.
The overall winner for 2011 was the shortest bit of prose to ever capture the title, proving that sometimes less is still more than enough to create dreck.
Sue Fondrie, an assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh captured the title with this:
“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”
There are more winners and “dishonorable mention” entries at the Bulwer-Lytton site.
I don’t think we’ll ever see any of these entries in a book that was auctioned for $10 million or in any library, whether it’s one in a phone booth or a vending machine.
And if you like the usb typewriter pictured above, Wired has more info about Jack Zylkin’s hack and how-to links to create your own.
