Richard Cooey tried a novel way to get out of his death penalty conviction for the sexual assault and murder of two college students in 1986. He tried saying he had incompetent public defenders, and when that didn’t work, he tried to say that he was too fat to execute via lethal injection. Granted, Cooey was pretty fat. He was 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighed a reported 268 pounds, 75 pounds heavier than he was when he was convicted. Somehow, the state of Ohio managed to find a vein that wasn’t clogged with bacon grease and Cooey was executed at 10:28 this morning. Given what his crimes supposedly were, good riddance.
Granted, maybe Cooey did have incompetent public defenders, but saying that he got too fat off of delicious jail food to be put to death is pretty laughable. I mean, it’s jail; the food can’t be that good, and nobody made him eat it all.
For his last meal, Cooey ordered a T-bone steak with A-1, onion rings, french fries, four eggs over easy, buttered toast, hash browns, a pint of Rocky Road ice cream, Mountain Dew, and bear claws. Even if he had gotten his stay of execution, he would’ve been confined in the gas chamber anyway to protect the other inmates from his egg farts and onion breath. I think he was hoping to explode in the chair instead of go peacefully via needle. If Ohio wanted to be inhumane, they could’ve just made him run a few laps and his heart would’ve exploded.
It’s a shame that Fat Bastard turned to a life of crime after his Austin Powers money dried up, but he’s just the latest in a long line of celebrities who’ve turned to the wrong side of the law.
Tags: ohio, execution, too fat to die, Richard Cooey, death penalty, inmate too fat to execute, Richard Cooey execution