Paul Baldwin is a veteran of the practices of the police department. He ought to be wise enough to conduct training classes on them, seeing as he’s been arrested 154 times. The 154th time, in Kittery, Maine, was for stealing some beer. Specifically, he stole two 18-packs and a 12-pack of beer from a convenience store (or 48 beers, if you’re counting at home).
So just how do you get arrested 154 times without going to jail for your whole life? Keep your offenses small. Baldwin’s been nicked in the past for eight trespass notices, 75 citations, having four Social Security aliases, as well as convictions for thefts, receiving stolen property, arson and criminal mischief. Baldwin is like the Donald Duck of petty crimes!
I have to wonder, when will they finally throw the book at this guy? Has he even done anything that merits serious jail time this time? I can’t imagine he stole that much beer; maybe he did stints in jail for the arson or receiving stolen property, but taking a misdemeanor amount of beer probably won’t get him anything more than a ticket. Still, this is an impressive list of crimes.
Maybe he can steal some lottery tickets next time and hope he hits a winner to pay off his forthcoming fines?