Steve Jobs: Six weeks to live?

Is the incredible life of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs coming to an end?  Well, if you believe reports published in the National Enquirer, yes.  The nation’s new finest news source broke the news of OJ’s prison beating, and now they’re the first to report that Steve Jobs is dying from a recurrence of pancreatic cancer.  Judging from recent pictures of Jobs, they’re probably telling the truth.

“He is terminal.  What you are seeing is extreme muscle wasting from calorie deprivation, most likely caused by cancer.  He has no muscle left in his buttocks, which is the last place to go,” said Dr. Gabe Mirkin, a physician with over 40 years experience, to the Daily Mail.  “He definitely appears to be in the terminal stages of his life from these photos.  I would be surprised if he weighed more than 130lb.”

Steve Jobs took a medical leave of absence from Apple last month to deal with his cancer fight, but according to Apple insiders, he’s still very much a part of Apple’s day-to-day business operations, showing up at the office to work or phoning in orders from home.  Hopefully he’s not neglecting his treatments, if indeed his cancer has returned like most people believe.

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