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Dead Whale Causing Big Stink In Malibu

Posted 12/07/2012 5:00 pm by

Streisand, Bob Dylan, and other film, television, and music royalty are raising a stink about… well, a stink.  The beautiful beaches of Malibu, California, are normally pristine, clean, and a joy to those with millions of dollars and mansions along the shore, but not lately.  On Monday, December 5, a very stinky visitor arrived in the form of a 35-foot-long dead whale.  There’s a giant rotting whale stinking up Malibu, and nobody can do anything about it.

“The county lifeguards have tried to handle the whale but it is really heavy and too wedged and embedded in the sand,” said Craig Sap, a spokesman for California State Parks.  “We also cannot get any solid equipment in because the low tide is not in yet.  The low tide starts around December 10 so we can start planning after that.”

Compounding the problem is the location of the dead whale.  The 35-foot-long fin whale washed up between Paradise Cove and Point Dume, and is technically on state land.  Hence every agency, from the California State Parks to the Los Angeles County Fire Department, the city of Malibu itself, and LA County’s lifeguards are all collaborating together to try to move one whale.  If you know anything about local government, that whale will probably be there until 2013.  Hopefully, someone will give that whale a nice funeral.

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