Driving crazily in his Pontiac Grand Am, Dan Noble weaved in and out of traffic on the highway before swerving off the road, onto the sidewalk at Washington State’s main campus, and ran over two pedestrians before coming to his senses.  Sounds like he’s high on drugs, right?  Well, apparently the 31-year-old financial analyst was on drugs, but not the drugs you’re thinking of.  His lawyer claims he was high on caffeine.

The defense is being called the Starbucks Defense, and basically it amounts to caffeine psychosis.  Noble hasn’t been sleeping well thanks to stress and overwork, his family says, and to compensate he was chugging heroic amounts of caffeine.  While I’m pro caffeine in pretty much all cases, I think once you start driving recklessly and have an incoherent breakdown after you get arrested for running people over, it’s time to deal with your sleeping problems directly.

Tags: coffee as a dangerous drug, the starbucks defense, driver high on caffeine hits pedestrians, hit and run accidents, Dan Noble, crimes, law and order, court defenses, caffeine psychosis

I’ve never had a problem eating food from a gas station.  Just two weeks ago, I ate a couple of hot dogs purchased from a gas station.  They were delicious.  That’s not the first time I’ve eaten gas station food, and I doubt it will be the last.  There’s nothing like a fun food novelty. […]

Commissioner Roger Goodell gathered 32 NFL owners for one big question.  One of the league’s most wanderlust-stricken franchises is looking to move again.  The Oakland-Los Angeles-Oakland Raiders, tired of gutting it out in a run-down stadium, were once again looking for greener pastures.  Only the Miami Dolphins refused to cooperate.  With a vote of 31-1, […]

In 2006, an injury to Dallas Cowboys starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe opened the door for an undrafted free agent by the name of Tony Romo to take the helm of America’s Team and lead the Dallas Cowboys to an early playoff exit.  Bledsoe went from starter to afterthought in a season.  Now, the circle continues […]

For 89 years, Oscars has never had a major mistake.  The last few Oscars might have had a few flubs, but at least they never got the most important category of the night wrong.  Well, that’s now changed, all thanks to OG Bonnie and Clyde legends Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway.  When Faye Dunaway called […]

Tom Brady has been wildly successful, if controversial.  He’s the first quarterback ever to win five Super Bowls and only the second player to do so after Charles Haley.  Unlike Haley, Brady won all his Super Bowls with the same team, the New England Patriots.  The only thing that seems to be able to stop […]

Ben Affleck, no matter what you might think of him, is a talented actor and director.  He’s got the goods, but he’s smart enough to know when he’s in over his head.  All along, since he took on the mantle of Batman, he’s had his eyes on writing, directing, and starring as the Caped Crusader. […]

In May, students for the for-profit American College of Education were running into some problems.  Their access to email accounts and course information was locked down by Google, who had disabled their accounts.  The reason why?  A fired IT worker for the American College of Education locked the school out of their Google cloud account. […]